Below is a directory of all active S.L.U.T. agents. Contact information is included where available.


HeadLeader of S.L.U.T., Head controls daily operations, monitors and investigates intelligence, organizes raids, and serves as the face of the organization.

[Contact Head]


StarfishA highly decorated agent with countless years of service, Starfish provides tactical and offensive services for S.L.U.T. Able to transform the wiggling life swimming in semen into muscle power, Starfish is the strongest superhero around.

[Contact Starfish]


Gyno-ManGotham City has a guy in a batsuit. Graffiti City is home to a guy with a killer speculum. Gyno-Man is a jack-of-all-trades who’s well versed in both defensive and offensive weapons, most of which boast gynecological undertones.

[Contact Gyno-Man]

Lark Lambskin

Lark LambskinThe newest addition to S.L.U.T. has the power to sing criminals to their knees. A siren with a formidable set of pipes, Lark Lambskin’s talent with a voice box is undisputed in the crime-fighting world. Lark looks forward to trying her hand in the field soon.

[Contact Lark Lambskin]

Punani Tsunami

Punani TsunamiThe Mistress of Mayhem, Punani Tsunami’s unique ability to create tidal wave-sized emissions from her tiny lady box contributes to her high capture rate of criminals. No one can withstand her surges, and few would want to anyway.

[Contact Punani Tsunami]

Lilith Maximus

Lilith MaximusS.L.U.T.’s resident recluse is an excellent behind-the-scenes operative. Highly trained in investigative techniques, Lilith has helped capture more bad guys from behind her computer than many do in the field.

Misty Mountain Tits

No office can run smoothly without an organized, efficient, and  serving as the backbone of the operation. Misty Mountain Tits is no exception. On any given day, you may find her juggling phones, delivering communiques, or sweet-talking villains and vendors alike.

[Contact Misty Mountain Tits]

Dildo Dan

Dildo DanThough not an official agent of S.L.U.T., Dan has earned an honorary title as the main supplier of weapons for the crime-fighting cartel. His creations have saved hundreds of agents’ lives and helped put countless felons behind bars.